Friday, April 02, 2004

A "Little" Explanation

Before yesterday I didn't think I needed to--well, I didn't see any reason to explain what I do with this blog. I mean, this has been my own little house of solitude up till now. However, after yesterday, I decided it might be good to provide a small explanation of the "remodeling" (okay--tinkering) I've done in the past couple of weeks--for anyone who might have somehow visited this site on their own before now. And, actually--now that I think about it--for those of you I've directed here recently, as well.

Originally this was a "private" blog--in the sense that anyone who knew me was not given the secret behind-your-back, don't-forget-to-cross-your-toes handshake. Okay, I made that up. I mean the site address. The point is, this was just a little outlet just for me. And any random strangers that happened by. Because, you know, of course, they don't count.

But the beginning of last week, I think it was, I realized something I already knew. Sloppy writing breeds sloppy thinking (and vice versa), as an essay by George Orwell once clarified for me. And while I think there's nothing wrong with the type of spilling I did before, I decided it might be more effective to focus my energy and reason on really trying to analyze some of the things in my life; break them down so I understand them better.

Well, I don't really remember my thought processes after this point too well, but suffice it to say that I somehow decided to open this place up to anyone, no secret handshake required, and try to write here more thoroughly? Carefully? Responsibly? (Heh--"Think responsibly." Hey, I kinda like that. Has a nice ring to it...) Ironically, this probably means not posting some of the just-for-me essays I was originally planning to write. But I still intend to write them. And it is the hope that I have in that process that has kept me hopeful, at the least--on a high, at the most--for the past two weeks--since I got back from Spring Break.

Of course, having said all that, I am not so sure how far I want to go with the "thorough-writing" idea, for one thing, because I am a perfectionist and if I wait till it is perfect, I will never post it. (Just in case you read something, and go, "That's thorough writing??")

I have tried pretty hard not to sound cryptic about my journal-writing habits. The truth is there are just some things I am not comfortable sharing. But just because I have taken all that stuff down doesn't automatically mean I'm unwilling to talk. I actually am a person who usually likes to share. I don't know how else to say this, but if you want to know, ask--just please don't take it personally if, for whatever reason, I decline.

Oh, and by the way: do me a favor and go visit Possumblog--Terry sent me a nice note yesterday, which actually prompted this whole post; written so that, should he or anybody else ever happen to drop by unexpectedly again, they would know what was going on.